VCU Brandcenter - MS, Copywriting - 2019

At VCU Brandcenter, down in the basement
I wrote a hundred advertisments about bacon
And none of them, none of them were good
So I wrote 200 more and one of them was good


BYU - MFA, Poetry - 2015

In 2015, way out in Utah, at Brigham Young University
There were a lot of Mormons there and I was one of them
I got a master’s degree in poetry
I wrote a bunch of sonnets, I wrote poems about death
I learned it’s kind of hard to get a job with an MFA in poetry

Barton F. Graf - Copywriting Intern - 2018

Remember way back in 2018
When everyone was interning at Barton F. Graf?
Wait, that was me
Writing TV scripts:
We open in the kitchen of a [national sports bar]
Narrator: What makes [sports bar] the best place to watch football with your friends?
We make our wings the old-fashioned way:
In the kitchen, in exchange for money
(Cut to end treatment with logo)


LDS Church - Writer - 2015–2017
also: Producer - 2010–2012

I worked at the Mormon Church for my first job
It was strange
I worked at their movie studio
I saw Jesus in the break room
He was there in full costume
Eating yogurt
He drove a Honda Accord

Microsoft Word

I can write a poem about your childhood
I can write an ad campaign too
I can play piano with my arms crossed (look Ma)
But that won’t really do a lot of good for you
I can use Microsoft Word
And I can type like the wind